May Quickies

From a phone conversation just now:

"I just saw a cute top I want to get. Oh, and our daughter has a 104 fever and probably needs to go to the doctor."

Nice priorities there.

And later:

"So the dog was really whiny and crying earlier, and I couldn't figure out what his problem was. Then I realized I clipped his leash to his ear instead of his collar."

How do you miss that badly?