Introduction

I have a secret. I have never told this to anyone.

My wife is an idiot.

I am not saying this in jest. She is, quite literally, the dumbest person I know. Don't misunderstand; I love her very much. She is a wonderful mother. She has a degree in teaching and has an unbelievable talent and patience with children.

But there is a vacancy about her. She seems to lack a basic understanding of the adult world, which is why I think she went into teaching and preschool eduation specifically. Theirs is a simple world of right and wrong, black and white. My wife is befuddled by complexity and nuance.

This is troubling for me. I am her opposite, and I love to read about, explore and discuss complex issues like religion, politics, and history.

My wife mostly likes to gossip.

Here are some examples of her thoughts and opinions:

Religion - She is convinced, even after multiple discussions, that Jesus of Nazareth was not Jewish. (We are Protestants and attend church quite regularly.)

Politics - When Bob Dole was running for president in 1996, one of his platforms was to eliminate the federal Department of Education. I understood it to mean that states and local districts would be responsible for their own funding and curriculum. She thought it meant that there would be no more teachers, and she would lose her job.

History - I don't even try to discuss history with her. She just sort of stares at me.

I know this makes me seem like an elitist and a snob. I am neither. While my wife grew up the daughter of a college professor, I grew up in a working class family. I paid for college using the G.I. Bill. Much has been said that members of the military only join as a last result, since they could not find a job or get into college. The truth is that some of the smartest and most highly skilled people I have ever met were in the military, and they could run mental rings around my wife.

I have met plenty of "good old boys" who think they are dumb in the ways of the world, but they possess a common sense and know-how that is more impressive than any college degree. I speak of men who can reassemble car engines and perform complex repair work effortlessly. With these men, I can speak easily and have much in common.

My wife possesses no such skill. There is little common ground on which we can meet. She lacks the inherent ability connect her thoughts as well as those of others. She gets confused easily. She can't even cook meals in our house, because managing more than one pot at once overwhelms her.

I have many more examples. I need to speak of this for my own sanity. If you think I am jerk for saying these things, I understand. But please continue to read and try to understand.