"Have you seen my car keys?", she asked me the other day.
"No.", I answered wearily. One of my wife's never ending frustrations is her inability to find her personal items. She has wasted countless hours searching for things. I have suggested frequently that she pick a spot to put her things, and force herself to put them there when she gets home. But in her ADHD-like fog, she just drops them at random.
"Did you look in the car?", I asked. I will admit she will often drop her purse and keys in the passenger seat of her car to avoid this dilemma, but it causes an obvious problem. And yes, I have had to unlock her door for her when her locks unexpectedly.
"Oh!" She dashed to to the garage and returned.
"Well, I found 'em. They were still in the ignition, and the car was on."
Let's review.
She left her keys in the car.
In the ignition.
On.
Now I should point out that the engine was not running. She had just left them in the accessory position. So at least she had not poisoned us all.
Yet.
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14 comments:
I am a newly wed (less then a year, with 2.5 years of dating). I am also an NCO in the Army. When my peers or I do something stupid at work we mercilessly make fun of each other, usually stopping just short of public obscenity charges. When the soldiers that I am in charge of screw up, there are multiple ways I can handle it. A quick "dont to that again", a decent smoke session, make them write an essay etc. Essentially whatever is most appropriate for the infraction and the soldier.
My wife is not a soldier, never has been, never will be, and would probably be horrified by the prospect of ever being one. I also love her very deeply and want to stay married to her forever. Yet, she often does dumb things. I can't mercillesly make fun of her because she would be sad and I dont like making her sad. I cant make her do push ups, or write an essay (nor would I want to) and the "Don't do that again's" often work for only days at best... How do you cope? What gets you through it? Is there some sort of Pavlovian thing that has worked for you?
Its getting to a point that I want to electrify the keyboard whenever I'm not home so the computer wont be broken in someway by the time I get there.
Nothing works, per se. The only thing that has worked for me is tolerance and acceptance. We can't change our spouses, so we must simply choose to love them every day in spite of whatever annoyances there may be.
Thanks for your service, by the way. I can tell you, as a veteran myself, that marriage is harder than the military.
And as another (young) veteran, can I say that you've got quite a case on your hands (the both of you).
Good luck!
My wife is an avid reader of your blog - can you provide (i.e. teach her to convey her feelings on) a similar outlet for your wife?
Might make things a bit even-sided in the discourse!
-M
And as another (young) veteran, can I say that you've got quite a case on your hands (the both of you).
Good luck!
My wife is an avid reader of your blog - can you provide (i.e. teach her to convey her feelings on) a similar outlet for your wife?
Might make things a bit even-sided in the discourse!
-M
Sorry, I meant YOUR WIFE. Seems she's being treated to a one-sided free for all diary of personal confessions at her expense. I bet you're a complete douchebag.
I love your blogg. Please make more new posts. It makes me feel better to know that I am not the only one married to a goober.
who's the bigger idiot? the idiot or the one who married it?
First let me just say that i too am a young, disabled veteran. I was discharged in april. My wife, my son (her step-son) and I then moved back to Texas. We then spent every dime we had in savings, buying and furnishing our first house. I got a great deal with a VA loan but still spent all our money on nessecary appliances. Now I support our family solely, while she is in school. I work 50+ hours a week at a job that is slowly destroying my sanity but is providing the income nesecarry to give us a lifestyle we enjoy. I too, like you, do all the cooking in our house (she says she only likes to bake, which I also end up doing) on top of most of the house work. At the end of the week after I pay all our bills, refuel her SUV and my truck and buy all needed supplies, I am sometimes able to give my wife a small allowance. The other week I gave her a check for $75 which found its way to staying on her night-stand for three days. Then, on the fourth day, I came home expecting to spend a nice evening alone with my wife as my son was at my mother's for the night (the check for $75 was still on her nightstand). After an hour and my wife still not home from school I called her, no answer. I assume she is with friends or possibly my mothers. I call again a half our later, straight to voicemail, which means she didnt charge her phone and it has died. I call friends and family to find out where she is, no one knows. After 4 1/2 hours of frantic searching around town, i get a call. She is in jail. For shop lifting. From wal-mart. And she has to spend the night in jail. She stole over $50 worth of socks, pantyhose and hair products, with that $75 check still on her night stand.
The next day I googled "my wife is an idiot", and i found your blog. Thank you. It has Helped
I feel your pain. My wife just called to tell me that she dropped ALL of her keys down the toilet, while it was flushing.
I'm still trying to figure out how that can happen.
Even better, we are down to ONE car because after years of reckless ADHD driving, she totaled heres. Now she's trashing mine.
It's a good thing I don't own a taser.
I love it when I hear stories of things I also do(often times to the dismay of my husband). Except I usually leave the keys in the car door...or the house door...take your pick, they've both happened more than once!
I have the cornerstone on idiot wives. Mine is not only an idiot, but she is unappreciative. I too am a retired vetran and receive a pension. My monthly pension alone is more than she earns in one month. I also have a civil service job that earns twice as much as my pension. So all in all I earn 3-4 times more than my wife does. When asked why she wants to stay married (as we have not been getting along for quite some time) her response is that she 1) can not afford medical insurance, 2) can not afford a place of her own 3) does not want to be alone or divorced. All piss poor reasons to stay married. SO she decides to tell me that her mother thinks I need counselling on marriage. So I sit down with my wife and explain to her everyone has to make decisions and that I am seriously thinking about a divorce. I am giving her a choice. She can be married to me and be a supportive, nurturing, loving, devoted wife, or she can assert her own independence and I will be more than happy to find her a place to move. She chooses the later (about her independence). After she finds out she barely has enough money (monthly) to rent a room, not really enough for food, can not pay for her car and insurance, she decides that she wants to come back to me. Not only is she an idiot she is SHALLOW. So in order to drive my point home about the lack of dedication, supportiveness, and devotion, I then told her she could come back under MY terms since the only reason she is with me is because of the medical, dental, roof over her head, food on the table, etc. Beleive me, it is no picnic for her. I make her watch all of those horror stories of where men treat their wives without any respect, physically, mentally and sexually abuse them. Then I have her make a list of everything I have done to her that is as bad or worse than the abusive spouse. Her list is empty everytime.
hey anonymous guy with the shallow wife, dude your a dick! Either leave her or love her, dont fuck with her head like that. Thats how you get your dick cut off while your sleeping.
Hahahaha I really enjoy your stories
My wife locked the keys in the car while it was still running. At a soccer game, no less. This car has a keyless entry fob, so this means she had to stop the car, leave it on, get out, get the kids out of at least 2 seperate doors, manually lock all doors, slam away, and walk off. Bravo.
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