My wife decided to take our kids on a little trip to a children's museum a couple of hours away. The problem is that she left with no map, no plan and no clue, other than to ask me how to-sort-of get there. That part was actually easy for her.
The problem was that she could not get home. The city she went to is composed of some one-way streets, so she could not return exactly the way she came. She could not comprehend the directions she was getting from the locals, so she proceeded to call me every few minutes as she inched her way back. I was in meetings all day and could not talk her all the way through. At one point, she even left the city successfully, but was headed in the complete opposite direction.
She ended up arriving home some two hours later than expected. I mentioned getting a GPS, but she said, "Oh, that's too much trouble."
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These are great stories. Your wife is an idiot. So's mine. She leaves lights on all over the house.
She turns on the air conditioner, then leaves the rest of the windows IN THE SAME ROOM open. She does this all the time. Honey, the AC is on in the bedroom! Yeah it's hot up there. Honey, the windows are open in the bedroom.
Mine was suppose to be driving to visit some friends and almost ended up in another state before calling me. She yelled stating that I'd told her to turn left (she doesn't understand a compass). I pointed out the only way she could have ended up in the other state would have been to turn right. She told me to shut up, and I just laughed. Just found this blog and it - is - awesome!
Everything will be alright in the end
If it isn't alright
Then it isn't the end.
Pretty amazing to discover another "relationship" like mine. After being married for 40+ years, I'm still astounded at how childlike she is. Whenever I hear some bimbo brag about being a "stay-at-home mom," I think "retard." There is exactly no difference between a NASCAR watching, beer drinking, couch dwelling deadbeat husband and a "I gotta watch my stories" Ellen-absorbed, Oprah-informed, cookie munching wife. But society has given women the "hardest job in the world" crutch for being a mom and men get the "won't help" label for not doing two parents' jobs instead of a fair share.
I refuse to attending weddings or funerals until I can tell one from the other.
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