We live in the suburbs of a major metropolitan area. My wife recently had to drive downtown, and naturally, she came to me for help.
Her: "Okay, how do I get downtown?"
Me: "The same way as always. Take I-XX west into downtown."
Her: "I thought that was closed?"
She was correct, to a point. Part of a major interstate is temporarily closed where we live for major road work. Through traffic is routed around the closure, but one can still access the downtown area since the closure is on the opposite side of the city from us. I explained this to her, just as I have every single time she has to go downtown.
Her: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Positive. I go that way all the time."
Her: "Okaaay."
Ten minutes later, she calls me from the road.
Her: "I missed the exit onto I-XX west. The sign said the road was closed."
Me: "Did the sign say the road was closed past downtown?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Then it was okay to go that way. Just like we discussed."
Her: "Oh. So what do I do now?"
We spent the next twenty minutes on the phone as I guided her, turn by turn, to her destination.
5 comments:
I was so glad to fine your blog. I had a particularly exasperating experience with my wife this morning that caused me to go online and seek out guys dealing with the same kind of issues. I have to say though -- after reading your posts -- that I think you have a worse situation than me, and you're a better man than me to continue dealing with it the way you do.
Without getting overly detailed, my wife lost two items -- not overly expensive but of some cost -- due to this need women have to take most of the house with them everywhere they go -- mulitple bags packed to the hilt on each arm. As such, I'm sure these items just fell to the ground at some point, and she went on walking totally oblivious to having lost them.
Keep up the good work. I'll be coming back here often.
I can't tell if my wife is perfectly stupid, completely terrified, or faking it because she's too lazy to drive herself anywhere. Could be all 3. GPS instructions completely lose here as does any attempt on my part to offer directions. She can get lost in our neighborhood and we've been here 15 years.
At some point, you realize you're Charlie Brown and you'll never get to kick the football. I would love to find out at some point that my wife of 20+ years would be able to master ordering food at a drive through window, operate a computer for 10 minutes without breaking it, or not lock herself out of the house (when the door isn't actually locked). When she's young, it's cute when she's stupid. When she's old, it's just old that she's stupid. Earning the title of "idiot" does not come easily. You have to work hard at coming up with things that dumb for that long. I think my grandma summed it up best with a back-handed, southern compliment, "Darlin'... thank goodness you're pretty."
Attention needed from you :)
I am so happy others have the same problem I do. My wife of nearly 20 years is/has driven me nuts with her air-headed BS. I would get a divorce, but we have two kids under 10...
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