I have mentioned before how quickly my wife can become overwhelmed by common stressful situations. This is her way of referring to it. A more truthful analysis is that her neurons are not firing quickly enough figure out the proper solution. Cooking is one example of this.
This really had my eyes rolling. Once, when my daughter was an infant, she became inconsolable. No matter what my wife did, she could not get her to stop crying. She simply couldn't take it any more and the anxiety was getting to her. So she did what she normally does in these situations: she came to me for help. Normally I expect this, but this time I couldn't believe her.
I had just finished mowing the grass in the middle of summer. I was hot, sweaty, grimy and covered with grass. She blocked all this out and brought my daughter outside so I could hold her. I explained to her how inane her request was. She got very ticked off, but mostly because she realized how much sense I was making and that she would have to continue dealing with our daughter.
I did go in, get cleaned up and rescue her from the screaming baby, though.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
The grass is always greener...when I get to take care of it.
Like most husbands, I am responsible for the care and feeding of our lawn, though my wife and I occasionally butt heads on the best method to do so.
When we first bought our house, the lawn was in bad shape, as the previous owners were older and did not have the energy to maintain it. To get it back into shape, we started subscribing to a lawn care service. Not only did the grass improve, it is now a bit out of control. I have to mow it once a week to keep it looking nice. I also trim around the house and other parts of the landscaping.
After I finished my regimen the other day, my wife made a comment to the effect that I had not done a thorough enough job and that the grass was too long. She is quite a bit more meticulous when it comes to outward appearances, so the first part was not expected. What bugged me was the comment about the length of the grass.
We have had this discussion on more that one occasion. For the weather and soil in our area, it is recommended that one mow their grass at the highest setting to maintain the healthiest lawn. I reminded her of this again that this tidbit of knowledge comes not from me but from:
1. The lawn care service
2. Our aging neighbor with the immaculate lawn
3. Her parents
My opinion is usually worthless to her, since she usually assumes I am lying to her. But once she realized that someone other than me (specifically her co-dependent parents) had said it, she dropped the issue, albeit reluctantly.
She was determined, however, and went outside to trim on her own. We have an electric weed trimmer, and in all my use of it, I have never discharged the battery completely. She came back in some time later stating that the trimmer no longer worked. She had used it so long and so meticulously that she had indeed run it down. She had also trimmed the grass in places to near golf course fairway length. I reminded her of the discussion we had, but she stated that she wanted it to look neat. This included grass I planted to cover some small bare spots.
Fast forward a week. I was mowing the lawn the following week. Most of it looks great.
Except for where she trimmed. These areas are either dead or choked with weeds.
How does the lawn look now, sweetheart?
When we first bought our house, the lawn was in bad shape, as the previous owners were older and did not have the energy to maintain it. To get it back into shape, we started subscribing to a lawn care service. Not only did the grass improve, it is now a bit out of control. I have to mow it once a week to keep it looking nice. I also trim around the house and other parts of the landscaping.
After I finished my regimen the other day, my wife made a comment to the effect that I had not done a thorough enough job and that the grass was too long. She is quite a bit more meticulous when it comes to outward appearances, so the first part was not expected. What bugged me was the comment about the length of the grass.
We have had this discussion on more that one occasion. For the weather and soil in our area, it is recommended that one mow their grass at the highest setting to maintain the healthiest lawn. I reminded her of this again that this tidbit of knowledge comes not from me but from:
1. The lawn care service
2. Our aging neighbor with the immaculate lawn
3. Her parents
My opinion is usually worthless to her, since she usually assumes I am lying to her. But once she realized that someone other than me (specifically her co-dependent parents) had said it, she dropped the issue, albeit reluctantly.
She was determined, however, and went outside to trim on her own. We have an electric weed trimmer, and in all my use of it, I have never discharged the battery completely. She came back in some time later stating that the trimmer no longer worked. She had used it so long and so meticulously that she had indeed run it down. She had also trimmed the grass in places to near golf course fairway length. I reminded her of the discussion we had, but she stated that she wanted it to look neat. This included grass I planted to cover some small bare spots.
Fast forward a week. I was mowing the lawn the following week. Most of it looks great.
Except for where she trimmed. These areas are either dead or choked with weeds.
How does the lawn look now, sweetheart?
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Computers Scare Her
Again, thank you for all the comments. Your support lifts a significant weight off my shoulders.
Let me first reassure everyone: If you are reading this, I can guarantee that I am not your husband. I know this because my wife is afraid of computers at best and thinks they are the spawn of Satan at worst.
She claims it is the result of a supposedly traumatic computer class she was forced to endure as a child. Fast forward to today, and you will see that her only interaction with them is via a Hotmail account I set up for her many years ago. She can only open it because I placed a "Hotmail" shortcut on the desktop in the middle of the screen. For the record, here is a list of things involving computers that confound her:
1. Opening attachments
Hotmail's procedure for this involves just following a couple of "click here" links. She is never sure if that is what she is supposed to do.
2. Forwarding e-mails
She asks me how. Every. Single. Time.
3. Opening a document
Me - "I placed the file right on the desktop next to the Hotmail icon. Just double-click on it, and the document will open."
Her - "I don't understand."
4. Surfing the web
When she wants to know our bank balance. I have to log on and show her. Every. Single. Time.
Yes, I have the site bookmarked. Yes, she knows the password (or at least I told her. She has probably long since forgotten). She has managed to click on links in her e-mail, so maybe there is hope.
5. Anything. Just...anything.
Plus, everything I'm doing must be a "game". Checking our investments? Game. Reading the news? Game. Editing videos of the kids? Game.
Of course she never sees me edit this blog. ;)
Let me first reassure everyone: If you are reading this, I can guarantee that I am not your husband. I know this because my wife is afraid of computers at best and thinks they are the spawn of Satan at worst.
She claims it is the result of a supposedly traumatic computer class she was forced to endure as a child. Fast forward to today, and you will see that her only interaction with them is via a Hotmail account I set up for her many years ago. She can only open it because I placed a "Hotmail" shortcut on the desktop in the middle of the screen. For the record, here is a list of things involving computers that confound her:
1. Opening attachments
Hotmail's procedure for this involves just following a couple of "click here" links. She is never sure if that is what she is supposed to do.
2. Forwarding e-mails
She asks me how. Every. Single. Time.
3. Opening a document
Me - "I placed the file right on the desktop next to the Hotmail icon. Just double-click on it, and the document will open."
Her - "I don't understand."
4. Surfing the web
When she wants to know our bank balance. I have to log on and show her. Every. Single. Time.
Yes, I have the site bookmarked. Yes, she knows the password (or at least I told her. She has probably long since forgotten). She has managed to click on links in her e-mail, so maybe there is hope.
5. Anything. Just...anything.
Plus, everything I'm doing must be a "game". Checking our investments? Game. Reading the news? Game. Editing videos of the kids? Game.
Of course she never sees me edit this blog. ;)
Monday, July 17, 2006
Shoo Fly, Don't Bother Me
I mentioned in a previous post how my wife is a bit paranoid about our finances. One way she attempts to save us money is keeping the thermostat set so high in the summer, that the air conditioning never turns on. This is fine to a point, but the house can get quite stifling in the afternoon heat.
To combat this, my wife frequently likes to "air out" the house. She cannot do this by opening windows, however, as she is not strong enough to push them up. Instead, she frequently just opens the front door.
Again, this is not necessarily stupid, but we do not have a screen door, so bugs immediately start flying into the house. She always complains about this as if the two events were not connected. Of course, the insects in the house aren't really her problem. Like most husbands, I have been tasked with killing them.
This leads to the next demonstration of stupidity. I also mentioned previously that I do all the cooking because of my wife's inability to concentrate or multi-task. The other night I cooked a pasta dish and announced dinner was ready. I was able to quickly feed myself and the kids, but my wife, who finds it difficult to focus, kept getting distracted by one task or another and could not make her way to the kitchen.
By the time she got there, she complained that the aforementioned flies were landing on her food. She then asked if I would stand there and wave them away, since she could still not bring herself to sit down and eat. I told her that it was impossible for me to stand guard over her food and get anything else done. And by that I mean killing all the flies that got in the house.
She has since agreed to stopped ventilating the house via the front door.
To combat this, my wife frequently likes to "air out" the house. She cannot do this by opening windows, however, as she is not strong enough to push them up. Instead, she frequently just opens the front door.
Again, this is not necessarily stupid, but we do not have a screen door, so bugs immediately start flying into the house. She always complains about this as if the two events were not connected. Of course, the insects in the house aren't really her problem. Like most husbands, I have been tasked with killing them.
This leads to the next demonstration of stupidity. I also mentioned previously that I do all the cooking because of my wife's inability to concentrate or multi-task. The other night I cooked a pasta dish and announced dinner was ready. I was able to quickly feed myself and the kids, but my wife, who finds it difficult to focus, kept getting distracted by one task or another and could not make her way to the kitchen.
By the time she got there, she complained that the aforementioned flies were landing on her food. She then asked if I would stand there and wave them away, since she could still not bring herself to sit down and eat. I told her that it was impossible for me to stand guard over her food and get anything else done. And by that I mean killing all the flies that got in the house.
She has since agreed to stopped ventilating the house via the front door.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
You found me & Mo' Money
First off, welcome to those coming from True Husband Confessions. It seems my little secret is out of the bag. Thank you for the kind comments. I felt for sure as soon as people saw the things I said about my wife, that there would be a call for my lynching. Thanks for noticing that I really do love her. She just makes me crazy sometimes (but then, don't you all?).
On to the entry:
I have only stated that I am an "educated professional". Suffice it to say I have a well paying job. Far from being in debt, my wife and I have quite a bit of money invested. We made a lot of the right choices early in life and always save money here and there.
When I say "we", of course, I mean that I chose to invest my money and manage it myself. Prior to our marriage, my wife's parents handled all her finances. She was very nervous combining our savings, partially because it meant passing the mantle of responsibility to me, and partially because she had no clue how much she had or what to do with it. I, on the other hand, had no problem with it. What's mine is hers forever. With this in mind, here are two little gems:
- As a wedding present, my parents gave us a large some of money. I immediately began to research where to put the money for the short term, as we were looking to buy a house soon. Should I put it in savings, buy a six-month CD, or what? She got very nervous about what I was doing and said, "Hold on, it's our money! We should both be involved!"
"You are absolutely right.", I said. "What would you like to do with the money."
Silence. Then...
"Umm, invest it?" she asked.
Sigh. (In case you are curious, I found a high-yield money market. And we love the house.)
- Though we are doing well financially, my wife always feels I should make just a little more money. She frequently tells me to ask for raises that would get me laughed out of my boss's office. But my favorite is when she suggests that I get a part time job. I always have to gently remind her that this would require me to be away from home more often, something that causes her no end of grief. Once she realizes what would be required of her in my absence, she quickly recants her request. But she always brings it up again a few months later.
And how often am I away from home normally? 7:30 AM to 5:30 PM. Every weekday.
On to the entry:
I have only stated that I am an "educated professional". Suffice it to say I have a well paying job. Far from being in debt, my wife and I have quite a bit of money invested. We made a lot of the right choices early in life and always save money here and there.
When I say "we", of course, I mean that I chose to invest my money and manage it myself. Prior to our marriage, my wife's parents handled all her finances. She was very nervous combining our savings, partially because it meant passing the mantle of responsibility to me, and partially because she had no clue how much she had or what to do with it. I, on the other hand, had no problem with it. What's mine is hers forever. With this in mind, here are two little gems:
- As a wedding present, my parents gave us a large some of money. I immediately began to research where to put the money for the short term, as we were looking to buy a house soon. Should I put it in savings, buy a six-month CD, or what? She got very nervous about what I was doing and said, "Hold on, it's our money! We should both be involved!"
"You are absolutely right.", I said. "What would you like to do with the money."
Silence. Then...
"Umm, invest it?" she asked.
Sigh. (In case you are curious, I found a high-yield money market. And we love the house.)
- Though we are doing well financially, my wife always feels I should make just a little more money. She frequently tells me to ask for raises that would get me laughed out of my boss's office. But my favorite is when she suggests that I get a part time job. I always have to gently remind her that this would require me to be away from home more often, something that causes her no end of grief. Once she realizes what would be required of her in my absence, she quickly recants her request. But she always brings it up again a few months later.
And how often am I away from home normally? 7:30 AM to 5:30 PM. Every weekday.
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